“…he is like a refiners fire, and like fullers’ soap: And he shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver…..and purge them as gold and silver, that they may offer unto the Lord an offering in righteousness.Malachi 3:2-3
A christian marriage, really any marriage comes to a point of conflicted views, opinions or old habits that have become comfortable enough to rise to the surface. We start to realize our “knight in shining armor” is really just a man. And us princesses, is just a woman. We are not fairy tale characters. We do not have perfect posture or perfect hair, not even close to perfect attitudes. This is why I love Jesus. He made the way for a sinner to be saved by grace!
What is it to be a refiner? Webster’s dictionary tells us, “Refiner is an improver in purity and elegance.” In order to refine gold, fire is used to heat gold to extreme temperatures to remove its impurities. Of course to do this it is a long process of heat, hammering, scrapping before the end result of pure gold. The same way gold is put under extreme conditions to become pure, so are we. We will go through hardship , tests, and many, many trails. In the processes of your refining, you will deal with inner conflict that you will let go of, all while embracing God’s way. It will be tough. It will be uncomfortable. But it will be worth it. We will be given the desire to become a peculiar people zealous of good works. God is refining us!
Yet, this is the same within our marriage. Our marriage is under a process of transformation. Learning to adjust from an independent single lifestyle to focusing on your husband. You enter into this covenant with your husband . You have been set apart exclusively for him. How excited you must have felt that day?! It was the most glorious day of my life! Once you two moved in together, the rest of the world is shut out, you start to notice little things. You realize neither of you are perfect! Life throws hardships, temptations, and trails at your marriage. You and your husband are facing this realization that sin can surface in even the most intimate relationship created by God.
“For the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness and righteousness and truth.”Ephesians 5:9
Marriage is not about us fulfilling our needs. We are wives, godly wives. Committed to our husbands. No longer pertaining ourselves in our own selfishness. We seek to live a life of love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, and temperance. We do not operate as our own body, but as one flesh. You and your beloved, in your individual entities created by God, has been designed to work in unity.
In I Corinthians 12:26, Paul warns the Corinthians to beware of how the body as a whole is doing; if one part suffers, every part suffers. If you intentionally chose, different seasons in marriage can be a way for God to refine you and your husband. Be a wife eager to serve God, you will never grow weary trying to work as one with your husband. As God is refining you, pray that God will captivate your husband’s heart. As gold, your love toward each other will be refined into the puritest form.